Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
