I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
