babies were throwing up all over the place
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
