A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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