I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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