I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize