at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
