Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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