fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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