All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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