let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
