pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize