he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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