I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
