I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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