YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
