FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
