just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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