You can't motorboat a personality
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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