3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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