haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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