I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
