I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
