Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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