a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
