the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
