He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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