I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
