Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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