I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
