ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
