How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
