She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize