Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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