My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize