don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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