I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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