We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
tell me about the eggs
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
