i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
