Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
