its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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