i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
