Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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