I hate all girls vehemently.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
