why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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