What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
