i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize