Too much gin, very little bucket
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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