Can i not drive my cunt home
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
