I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
