OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
