just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize