And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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