Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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