I wish I could teleport
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
