fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
