my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
