grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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