3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Green mimosas i think yes
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sext me about skeletons
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
