I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
