We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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