so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
ok first of all what the fuck
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
