So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
