So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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