Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When are your genitals available?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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