i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
