you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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