went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
