I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
