woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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