There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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