In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
someone owes me an orgasm
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
