you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
