dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
