He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
