I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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