Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
